Roy and I have just returned from Maastricht in the
Netherlands where we went to watch master musician and egomaniac, Andre Rieu,
complete the final touches to his new vision of beaming his concerts across the
globe through participating cinemas.
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| Andre Rieu |
Affectionately known by his psycophantic
fans as the King of Waltz, Andre has launched his biggest and most spectacular
concert performed to date for cinemas.
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| Maastricht |
The concert has been filmed in front of
thousands of adoring fans in the beautiful medieval backdrop of his hometown of
Maastricht, famous for the fiscal treaty and Orangutangs that have featured in
so many cinematic extravaganzas.
Octogenarian actor and director, Squint
Leastwould, once famously used one of his pieces in his seventies western
classic, Hennie Witch Hay But That Way Bruce, which featured Clyde as a soppy
camel's assistant & sometime sleeping companion.
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| Squint Leastwould |
Rui with his John Mc Veigh non-hairstyle and John
Travolta switch hitting ego has played to sold out concerts since the Dead Sea
was on the critical list, and is now trying to get his masterful compositions
out to the masses via more affordable media streams, and given his penchant for
detail, this venture could catapult him way ahead of current pop stars. Rieu
has courted controversy for many years with his apparent disdain for orchestras
that did not play 'my way' as in the Johann Strauss Orchestra, and many
journalists have been on the wrong side of his wrath over their comments
whether founded or not.
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| Auditions for Likmadef Sweetly |
His musical instrument of choice is the 1667
Stradivarius violin that was created a few years apart from the French
euthanasia instrument of choice, La Guilloitine, both having been known to send
people scurrying in all directions. Under his father's instruction, Rieu began
playing the violin at age five and by his teen years had mastered his music,
and, may it be said, most of the local girls & the odd yodeller attracting
many a suitor. Rieu has always had something of a rock star demeanour and has
been the single most important person in the revival of the Waltz music
category. Ever the boastful egomaniac, Rieu is a wonderful musician and it is a
pity that the bulk of classic radio stations refuse to play his adopted brand
of vintage music. He speaks many languages including Limburgish, Dutch, French,
English, Pigeon Italian, Swahili and a colloquial spin on Argentine Spanish
that most Argies struggle to comprehend with the exception perhaps of some
rural gauchos from the remote Patagonian region, and can swop from one dialect
to another at the drop of a Stradivarius or the odd Argentine matador's bull.
His two favourite pieces are the Dutch Blue Danube & the Greek favourite
'Likmadef Sweetly or Not At All'.
His extra large orchestra, the equivalent
of a small Austrian village, travels in a convoy of several large buses,
strangely supplied by a neo-nazi group from Braunau am Inn, the birthplace of
its most famous citizen, Adolf. The Mercedes buses are state of the art with a
new Lebanese recycling system imported from Downtown Beirut. Andre has never
forgiven the Walt Disney organisation for not allowing him to write the film
score to the film, "The Sound of Music", which is accredited to
Richard Rogers and his partner, Doesn't. Andre has been offered the chance to
produce Emmimen's latest album, Recovery. He turned it down for two reasons due
to two prior commitments, firstly a concert for Old Age Pensioners in the
Barvarian town of Rogersberg, and secondly, a duet with Eminem at a concert in
the former East Berlin with the title, Rap is Crap, Waltz is Better.
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