Roy and have just returned from Washington DC where we took part in an official screening for the new Scientology commission to find Tom Cruise a new subservient wife. We were both in line to be 'audited' to establish the level of payment structure we would fall under. Our exemplar, Polish born Chuck Taykee Thelotski, had assured us that it was a very straightforward process and there was more than an even chance of meeting Tom Cruise who was in town to publicize his new movie, Standing Tall, where he plays a midget in love with a wax figurine of Katie Holmes. The role called for him to wear spandex underwear & a pair of platform shoes both last used by Gary Glitter in his rendition of "Remember me this way" with Sandie Shaw at a recent prison concert in Binh Thuan Province to help pay for his bypass op in the prison hospital kitchen in 2009.
Gary had been left the shoes & underwear by Ziggy Stardust after a one night stand with a Costa Rican immigrant on vacation with her diplomat parents, guests of Jimmy Savile, at a rained out Hyde Park concert in '74.
Chuck had run the financial dept into the ground for the Polish government at the breakdown of communism in Warsaw over the mid '70s. His leaflet on the merits of covert extortion, racketeering & other economic reforms had seen him promoted to a very senior position within the organization. That he had dated Hubbard's grandson, Leonard Nimoy III, for two years had helped cement his hitching post for his trusted steed, Hi Ho Silver, outside the entrance to the Reserve Bank's gold vault. Chuck had been removed from his position as chief tester on the 'E' meter after he accidentally frazzled someone's testes when he had muddled up the electrodes and fried half of the left side of one the devotees, Dwayne Delahousey, a distant cousin of Eddie, leaving him with a permanent Don King hairstyle & destroying any aspirations for his matrimonial prospects.
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| Dwayne Delahousey |
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| Daylene moments before being impaled by her favourite steer |
Scientology has had a bum wrap, Chuck told the audience at the convention, before continuing to say that reincarnation was a fact for which he had ocular proof. His wife, Daylene née Prairie Rose Henderson from Pendleton, Montana, who had been champion steer rider before she ruptured her 'azzie' after becoming impaled on a Corriente bull in a regional bulldogging competition east of White Sulphur Springs, reminded him of his farm house cow, Gretchen, from his family farm in the Malopolskie region. They shared a similar prosthesis, he added. We managed to get away in the early hours when we were chauffeured back to our turbo propped twin seater experimental hang-glider donated by the Alaskan Air Force.
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| Roy & I leaving |
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