12th April 2013 - Umfolozi

Roy and I have just returned from Umfolozi game reserve in northern Natal to witness the appointment of the new board for Ezemvelo KZN Wildlife, the conservation authority. Our biggest surprise was the appointment of Bafana Bafana Nkosi as Director General after the shenanigans of his previous appointment as a director of a prominent medical company with very little qualifications for the position, if indeed any at all. When we posed the question regarding his knowledge or the qualifications that could possibly prepare him with the necessary skills to run a wild life conservation organization, he responded with " the closest I have got to wild life was during my time as a bouncer at the Hai Bo nightclub in downtown Josie". Enough said.

Bafana & team set off down Everest

Bafana moments before changing to the Luge

Bafana first found fame as an iconic sportsman winning the standup luge competition for the new film 'Jackass Four'. He traversed the hilly & icy course down the side of Everest, at speeds most free jumping astronauts would fail to reach, for a full three minutes before crashing into an over crowded Japanese campsite littered with a dozen frozen Nipponese former climbers.

From his makeshift campbed & sometime hospital bed, a slab of concrete, at the Church of Latter Day Saints & formerly the Buddhist Temple of Boudhanath Stupa in downtown Kathmandu

Church for Mormon Buddhists

before the Morman membership drive in Nepal last year, he found a renewed faith in economic self-enrichment & returned to South Africa an invigorated man bent on a path of self-aggrandizement with the invaluable assistance of one of the most absurd economic policies of all time, that of BEE (Black Economic Empowerment), more commonly referred to as " Black Elitist Enrichment", a discriminatory policy favoring the uneducated majority in a country of an educated minority.

Ezemvelo Wildlife management claimed that Nkosi had never been charged with anything and he had resigned before charges were ever put to him. Nkosi did concede that he was going to pay back the money for the free first class air ticket he received courtesy of one of the company's pharmaceutical suppliers, but only when Julius Malema came clean. There is more chance of producing motorbikes with ashtrays & handlebar fans - although I wouldn't put it past the North Koreans - than this pair ever coming up with one cent of 'scaled' funds.

Applicants waiting in line

Madonna at Nklanda

Meanwhile, it was rumoured that President Zuma was considering an appointment at the National Treasury for Nkosi in the newly created position of Treasury Under Secretary for Tax Rebates, a quasi-charitable rebate scheme for the previously disadvantaged under Apartheid rule nearly twenty years ago. Anyone denied an education under the Apartheid goverment may apply. The idea was squashed after the offices of the National Treasury had to be closed for over a month due to the long queues of applicants stretching from Pretoria to the Zimbabwean border post at Beitbridge. President Zuma has now reconsidered & suggested, despite his BEE policy, that he would promote Madonna for the position. It may have had something to do with her 5 million US donation for the new primary school at Nklanda for the president's children.